An Excerpt:
WANDA: (Entering with armful of magazine pages.) I’m here! I’m here. (To Aloysius.) I’ve got the dress narrowed down to my top thirty-seven choices.
ALOYSIUS: How nice for you. (He takes the magazine pages and tosses them aside.) Now then, what do you want the wedding to be?
BABE: I thought that was your job?
ALOYSIUS: It is.
BABE: What exactly do you know about weddings, Mr. Monroe?
ALOYSIUS: (To Babe.) Aren’t you a delicate little flower. (To Happy and Wanda.) What I know about weddings
is that they are not only love but about style. Design. Panache! You want to make a statement! That’s what
I know! (Aside to Babe.) I also know you can make off with a bunch of great wedding gifts if you play your cards right.
BABE: You’re amazing.
ALOYSIUS: Thank you.
BABE: Amazing, but not in a good way.
ALOYSIUS: (To Happy.) What statement do you want to make with your wedding?
HAPPY: How about a statement like, ‘I want to get married?
WANDA: (Glowing.) Just like a man.
ALOYSIUS: (To Wanda.) What type of wedding do you want?
WANDA: Isn’t that what we hired you to figure out?
ALOYSIUS: And what sort of wedding planner would I be if I planned a wedding that made me happy but not my client. It’s your big day so let’s hear your ideas.
BABE: (To Happy.) Sometimes it’s a joy to watch him work.
HAPPY: What’s it like the rest of the time?
BABE: Terrifying.
WANDA: Happy, maybe he does know what he’s doing.
BABE: First time for everything, I suppose.
ALOYSIUS: And all we need to set the tone for the perfect wedding is the perfect engagement party. That is going
to be the hardest part of the wedding. If you can get the engagement party right then the actual wedding is child’s play.
HAPPY: That don’t really seem right.
ALOYSIUS: Who’s the professional here?
WANDA: Let the man work.
HAPPY: Well, we’ve already got that covered.
WANDA: The party’s tonight.
ALOYSIUS: (Looking around the room.) Really? But nothing is being set up.
WANDA: Fenton and Sunny helped. We’re having it at the Banks-Carlton Hotel.
HAPPY: The very best hotel in town.
ALOYSIUS: (Not impressed.) I suppose it will have to do.
WANDA: For music we’ve Chuck Parker and his Mounted Virginians.
BABE: Oh, they’re good.
HAPPY: Chef Virgil is doing the food.
ALOYSIUS: Oh, good! One small step above Pigs in a Blanket. Very nice, as far as it goes but we need something to really give the party a little push.
WANDA: What are we going to do? Happy, the party is tonight, what are we going to do?
ALOYSIUS: Well done fireworks displays are always crowd pleasers and make a statement.
HAPPY: A fireworks display? Hold my root beer. Is that why you told me to set up a fireworks display. (To Wanda.) He just might know what he’s doing.
BABE: I’m impressed.
ALOYSIUS: As well you should be.
