Some Excerpts:

COSMO: Hey, girly! 

ROSIE: What?! Oh dear, you startled me.

COSMO: I'd say I was sorry, but I ain't so I won't.

ROSIE: May I help you sir?

COSMO: Yeah, sure. I'm new here and I'm looking for an old Friend. (He takes a closer look at Rosie.) Have we ever met? You look sorta familiar like.

ROSIE: I meet a lot of wonderful people here at the Hardy House.

COSMO: You're cute!'

ROSIE: Thank you sir.

COSMO: So, what's a pretty little thing like you doin' in a dirt water town like this?

ROSIE: Working for a living sir. Is there something I could do for you?

COSMO: You sure we ain't met before? I'm Incognito.

ROSIE: I promise I won't tell anybody you're here.

COSMO: Nobody knows I'm here.

ROSIE: And I'll make sure it stays that way.

COSMO: Stays what way?

ROSIE: Keeping you incognito. It'll be our little secret because It's the Hardy Girl way.

COSMO: Wait a minute. Incognito is my name. I'm Cosmo Incognito from New York City.

ROSIE: New York City!

COSMO: Did I stutter?

ROSIE: No sir.

---

ROSIE: Oh Billy.

BILLY: Oh Rosie.

(Billy and Rosie lean slowly toward each other with the intention of kissing. The moment is broken by Nadia bursting through the door. Nadia is a young woman, very well dressed; too well to be in a dinner in the middle of the morning. She speaks with an upper class British accent.)

NADIA: (Entering.) I new I'd find you here!

ROSIE: You're sister's here.

BILLY: If we ignore her she may go away.

NADIA: I would love to go away from here, but I seemed to be trapped here. What a dump!

ROSIE: Would you like some coffee, Princess?

BILLY: Princess?! What...what....

NADIA: I'd rather drink sand than your swill.

BILLY: What... what are you talking about?

ROSIE: (Confidentially.) Your sister prefers we call her Princess.

BILLY: She does, does she?

ROSIE: Oh, Billy, it doesn't do any harm. Everybody knows your sister is... special.

BILLY: She's crazy is what she is.

ROSIE: That too.

NADIA: William, why is the peasant still here?

BILLY: She is not a peasant, she is my friend.

NADIA: You have got to be kidding.

ROSIE: It's alright, Billy, I really should be getting back to work.

BILLY: I'll miss you.

ROSIE: And I'll miss you too, Billy.

NADIA: How can you miss her when she refuses to leave?

ROSIE: Will I see you later, Billy?

BILLY: Most assuredly so.

ROSIE: (Aside.) I just love the way he talks! (Rosie exits.)
 

---

ROSIE: You should think about your future.

NADIA: (Aside.) I am thinking I want to see my future. (To Rosie.) I want to see my future as... as your very dear friend. I... I wish to be maid of honor at your wedding!

ROSIE: My wedding!!! (Aside.) Goodness, do you suppose she's seen through me? Do you suppose she knows that I am deeply, and madly, and hopeless in love with her brother?

NADIA: I am only thinking of you, my dear.

ROSIE: You are?

NADIA: I am. I am thinking there is a man in this charming little inn who would be a perfect husband for you.

ROSIE: I know. He is strong, and handsome, and kind, and ever so gentle.

NADIA: He is?

ROSIE: Oh he sure is. (She sighs deeply.)

NADIA: Good, then my work is done here. Let's us have some tea to celebrate, shall we? (Yelling.) Peasant!!! We need tea!

BILLY: (Entering.) You need tea?

NADIA: Yes, my dear friend and I would very much like to have a lovely cup of tea.

BILLY: What are you up to, Nadia?

ROSIE: Oh, no, no, I couldn't possibly. I... I don't have time. I really should be getting back to work. But first I want to tell you how happy you've made me Princess. I just knew there was a wonderful, warm person under your.. your..

BILLY: Her ill-tempered, ill-mannered, and brusque exterior.

(As Rosie speaks Nadia becomes softer and gentler.)

ROSIE: Don't be so hard on your sister, Billy. She's doing her best to fit in and be nice, and I think you should do everything you can do to help her. Now, Billy, if you'll excuse me I... my goodness you're so good looking and strong. I.. I really need to get back to the kitchen.

BILLY: Is something burning?

ROSIE: You might say that. Oh golly!!! (She dashes for the kitchen.)