Some Excerpts:

VERONICA: (Sighs deeply.) Another opening for another show. My ... my ... my ... my ... Dismal Flats certainly lives up to its name. What a dump! Uriah Flackhacker has booked us into dumpy-little-one horse towns before, but this time ... Wow! This time he has really outdone himself.

MARTIN: (Entering.) Excuse me, Miss ...

VERONICA: Sorry, sorry, no autographs.

MARTIN: I’m not looking for an autograph.

VERONICA: You’re not? And just why not? What, I’m not good enough to pester for an autograph. I’m not famous enough to sign your little autograph book. Is that what you’re saying?

MARTIN: No.

VERONICA: Then what are you saying. Wait a minute ... do I know you? You look sort of familiar.

MARTIN: I’ve never met you before in my entire life, Miss Vavoom.

VERONICA: Then how do you know my name?

MARTIN: I … recognize you from your picture on the poster.

VERONICA: The one in front of the theatre of the one at the sheriff’s office?

MARTIN: You have a poster in the sheriff’s office?

VERONICA: That isn’t important right now! What is important is that you’ve got to get out of here before you get caught.

MARTIN: I was sort of hoping to speak to somebody about getting work with this theatre company.

VERONICA: Trust me kid, you don’t wanna do that.

MARTIN: Why not. It’s always been my dream to find good honest work in the theatre.

VERONICA: Look, kid, I’m doing you a favor here. You seem like a nice guy. This place ain’t a good place to be if you’re a fresh faced and fine young guy. This place can jade you. It can twist you into something angry and ugly.

URIAH: (From off stage.) You call yourself a director?!!! You’re nothing!!! You’re less than nothing!!! You are a worm!!!

VERONICA: And speaking of ugly and angry.

MARTIN: What’s his problem?

VERONICA: Do you want the whole list or just the high points.

URIAH: (OS) I’ve had it with your incompetence. You’re fired!!! Get out!!! You’ll never work in this business again.

VERONICA: Look kid, you don’t have much time. Please do us both a favor and get out before Mr. Flackhacker catches you here.

MARTIN: He does sound like he’s in a bad mood.

VERONICA: For him ... ? Actually for him this is a good mood.

URIAH: (Storming onto the stage from right with a script in his hand.) I am surrounded by fools and incompetents! I ... I can’t work like this. You there!

MARTIN: Me?