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"Shootout at Sadie's Saloon"

Originally performed at Mahoney State Park at Ashland, Nebraska May 25, 1995

Chapter 1

Suni It's a hot, dusty day at Sadie's Saloon when Sheriff Jake Jones makes his usual afternoon visit. Lovely young Sadie Spencer, one of the owners of the saloon, is the only person in the bar. Jake orders his usual "Special Sarsparilla", which is supposedly non-alcoholic, but is actually whiskey. They talk about the two main subjects in town, the intense heat wave and the fact that the Stagecoach Line has moved out of town.

Script Excerpt:

Sadie. Well, since nobody's here to see you, why don't you just order a regular shot of whiskey instead of the special sarsaparilla?
Jake. Because you never know when somebody might come in and I don't want people to think I'm drinking on duty."
Sadie. I hate to ruin your day, but everybody in town knows that there's whiskey in that special sarsaparilla bottle."
Jake. Well. I'll be hornswoggled! You say everybody?
Sadie. Everybody except the members of the Temperance Committee.

Suni There is a two-person Temperance Committee dedicated to closing down the saloon, Hazel Hoochater and Prudence Purewater. They have been a thorn in Jake's side for a long time. Jake doesn't want the saloon to close for two reasons, he likes the Spencer sisters and he needs a place to drink! He has arrested the two committee members before for disturbing the peace when they have burst into the saloon bent on destroying it.

Script Excerpt:

Jake: Well, I'll be a yaller dog! There sure ain't no secrets in this town! Well, speaking of the Temperance Committee, you never know when those two goody-goody two shoes temperance women, that old bat Hazel Hoochater and her mangy partner Prudence Purewater, will show up. Those two are more trouble than a pair of skunks in a perfume store.
Sadie. Now Jake, don't start in on the ladies from the Temperance Committee. It's too hot to be getting all exited. Besides, those two haven't been in here in months. I think they still remember the last time they tried to bust up the place and you had to throw them in jail.
Jake. Yep. I seen my duty and I done it. After all, it's the Code Of The West. Tell you what, though. Next time something like that happens, they'll be in jail forever and a week!


Of more importance to the town is the fact that when the railroad moved out so did most of the people, and business at the saloon has suffered as a result. Sadie and Jake are reflecting on the sad state of affairs when they are joined by Sadie's vivacious younger sister, Sally. Sally is a good-natured girl while Sadie is more serious. They disagree on the operation of the saloon. Where Sally wants to sell it and move on to greener pastures, Sadie prefers to keep things as they are, thinking that things will get better sooner or later.

Script Excerpt:

Sally: Good morning folks! And what a glorious morning it is! The sun is beating down on the town without respite or pity. And the barren landscape that surrounds us simmers as gently as a blast furnace.
Jake. Yep. Sure is hot, all right.
Sadie. Good night's sleep, Sally?
Sally. A wonderful night's sleep, dear sister. I had the most beautiful dream!
Sadie. Dream? Tell us about it.
Sadie. Well, I dreamed that I went back east to school, met mister wonderful, got married in a big church wedding, had two children, lived in a two bedroom house with 1.5 out houses in the outskirts of Omaha and even got me a mini wagon!
Sally. My, what a surprise. That's the same dream you've had for the last month.
Sadie. Who knows? If I keep having it maybe it will come true.


The only person who is interested in buying the saloon is their late father's business partner Dirk Devious. Sadie had promised her father on his death bed that she would never allow his former partner Dirk to gain control of the saloon. It seems that he and Dirk had a falling out over a business deal and became lifelong enemies. Sadie is hoping to keep the Saloon while Sally hopes somebody besides Devious will come to town to buy the place.

Script Excerpt

Sally: Jake, why don't you help me talk Sadie into selling this place? There really isn't enough business left to keep it running anyway and that handsome gambler fellow, Dirk Devious has offered us a pretty penny for it!
Sadie. Sally, we've been over this a thousand times. You know very well what your father said on his deathbed. He said....
Sadie and Sally. Mind your manners, mind your business, mind the saloon and whatever you do, don't sell out to Devious.

So things remain the same in the peaceful little town of Adobe Wells. It's hot, and the stage doesn't come to town any more to break the monotony....

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