NC: And do I get my free checks today?

TYPHOON: Why certainly! Here you go! (handing her two postage stamp sized "checks")

NC: What's that?

TYPHOON: Your free checks! Enjoy them courtesy of (again) The Oldergeezer State Bank (pointing)

BILL: AMANDA: STACEY: (together) The Little Bank that Helps.

NC: But they're so small! I don't know...They're kind of hard to read.

TYPHOON: Perhaps, you'd prefer our Elegant Design Masterworks Checks? (handing her a book of normal sized checks)

NC: I think that would be better. Thank you.

TYPHOON: There is of course a small fee for them.

NC: $12.50?

TYPHOON: $17.50. But GOOD guess!

NC: I don't know about this...

TYPHOON: (interrupting her) You know, we also have a New Customer Appreciation Welcome that we like to do for brand new customers..(freezes)

AMANDA: Looks like we better get ready.

STACEY: Maybe she won't fall for it!

BILL: Let's hope so.

TYPHOON: (unfreezes) Would you like to see it?

NC: Well yes, I guess so.

TYPHOON: Wonderful! Oh STAFF! One New Customer Appreciation Welcome, if you please...

At this the STAFF comes around the teller counter to LC. The Big Musical/Dance Number ensues. It is about as horrible as you can make it, and still be understandable. Stacey is wildly enthusiastic, Amanda goes about it professionally detached, and Bill is as if at the dentist undergoing a root canal.

To the tune of Jingle Bells-Dashing Through the Snow.

STACEY: One two three. All together:

Welcome to our Bank,
We hope you like it here,
We'll give you a cal-en-dar,
Each and every year ha ha ha..
If you don't pay your loans,
We'll repossess your house
And you won't have a place to sleep
Or even put your socks, OHHHHHHH.
Oldergeezer, Oldgeezer
The Little Bank that Helps
It's the place to bring your cash
And let us keep it safe. OH!
Oldergeezer, Oldgeezer
The Little Bank that Helps
We'll take you for a ride
On a one way trip to Broke. HEY!

As the song ends the the STAFF returns to behind the teller counter.

NC: Well that was really something.

TYPHOON: Yes. Yes it was. You know I wrote that myself. And it's well worth the price, if I do say so myself.

NC: The price?

TYPHOON: Yes. For the New Customer Appreciation Welcome. You said you wanted to see it.

NC: I didn't know it cost MONEY!

TYPHOON: Well its right there on the sign.

NC: WHAT sign?

TYPHOON: THIS sign.(indicating the placard on his desk) oh DEAR, it seems to have fallen over!

(He sets the placard upright. On it is written the legend The Old Song and Dance $25.00.)