Some Excerpts:

RICK. I don't care about what he owns, I only care about his daughter, Minnie. 

CALLIE. Well, he sure doesn't much care for you. 

RICK. Well, I don't care what he cares about, except I do care about what his daughter Minnie cares about, as long as she cares for me, that is, then he doesn't have to care for me, as long as…. 

CALLIE. I get your drift! And she does care for you. I can see it in her eyes, every time she sees you. 

RICK. Well, I love her, she loves me, and we are going to be married real soon. Right after I win … THE BIG RACE, as a matter of fact. 

CALLIE. Well, like I always say, the race isn't over until the checkered flag drops. You are still going to need a little luck to win. 

RICK. I'm feeling mighty lucky right about now. 

CALLIE. Well, I'd feel more lucky if we had more things to repair. 

RICK. Business is sure to improve. More people are buying automobiles, and we get more money to fix them than buggies or bicycles. And as soon as … 

CALLIE. As soon as more people buy them, this shop will be very profitable. I know … You've told me that a hundred times. 

RICK. Well, you just wait and see. People are switching from horses more and more. They don't have to feed an automobile. And it doesn't need any rest. 

CALLIE. But they smell bad. 

RICK. Not as bad as horses. And you can walk behind a car without watching where you step. 

CALLIE. And it's hard to find gasoline for them. 

RICK. We can put in a big storage tank to store the fuel and sell to folks at a nice profit. 

CALLIE. And there are no decent roads for them. 

RICK. And the government will make better roads. 

CALLIE. And just where is the government getting the money for these roads? 

RICK. Taxes on the gasoline. 
 

---

PLUSH. I have a question, Crank. Why is winning the race so important? 

CRANK. Because after I win, I get the prize money. And when I get the prize money, I can use it to fulfill my fondest dream. 

PLUSH. And what's that? 

CRANK. I'm going to purchase a fast speed boat and run it up and down the Missouri River. 

PLUSH. Seems to me you are going to a lot of trouble just to take a fast boat up and down the river. 

CRANK. I'm not interested in the ride. I'm interested in the cargo. 

PLUSH. Cargo? 

CRANK. I plan to purchase cigars in Brownville where they have no cigar tax and run them up to Omaha, where they have a large tax. I'll make a huge profit on every load. 

PLUSH. But...don't you have to pay the tax too? 

CRANK. Of course not! Why on earth would I want to do that? 

PLUSH. But not paying the cigar tax is illegal! 

CRANK. And your point is? 

PLUSH. Oh! I get it. You charge the same price as the cigars that are taxed... 

CRANK. Actually, a little less, That way I'll sell them fast. Then I can go get another load sooner. 

PLUSH. But, what if you get caught? 

CRANK. I won't. That's why I want the fast boat. So the law can't catch me. It's fool-proof! 

PLUSH. I understand the fool part.  

---

(RICK enters.) 

RICK. I'm here. What do you want? 

CRANK. Oh I was just leaving, but Plush here has some questions for you. (CRANK exits hastily.) 

RICK. Questions? 

PLUSH. Yes. I wondered if you can repair my bicycle. 

RICK. I didn't know you had a bicycle. 

PLUSH. Oh yes, I have had one for quite a while now. 

RICK. What's wrong with it? 

PLUSH. I think it's the (Pretending to trip and grabbing RICK.) CLUTCH! 

RICK. (Making a futile effort to extricate himself.) You think so? 

PLUSH. Oh, please excuse me. I'm so clumsy. I think I've hurt my ankle. 

RICK. Let me help you sit on the bench. (He helps her to the bench and sits next to her.) 

PLUSH. Oh thank you. You're so kind. (Leaning into him.) ... And strong. (Leaning closer.) … And handsome. 

RICK. (Attempting to get away from her.) Miss Seat-Cover! 

PLUSH. Oh! I am so dizzy right now. It must be the gasoline fumes. Anyway, about my clutch... 

RICK. What appears to be wrong with it? 

PLUSH. (Leaning into him again and batting her eyes while clutching him.) It's grabbing! 

RICK. (Fending her off.) I see. And when can you bring it in? 

PLUSH. My clutch? 

RICK. Your bicycle. 

PLUSH. Whenever it's right for you, Rickie. 

RICK. Well, we are not busy for the rest of the week. 

PLUSH. How about tonight? 

RICK. Tonight? We close at six. 

PLUSH. Fine. I'll be over at seven. 

RICK. (Getting up.) And I'll be having dinner with Minnie. 

PLUSH. I see … well, how about tomorrow morning at eight? 

RICK. Fine. Now if you will excuse me...