An Excerpt:

MODESTY

Oh my, look at the time! I've simply got to get started on supper! Lucretia, will you be a dear and entertain Steve while I cook supper?

LUCRETIA

(Aside) You bet I'll entertain him! (To MODESTY) Of course! I'd be delighted to.

MODESTY

Thank you Lucretia, You are such a nice friend. I'm sure that Steve will be in good company while I'm gone!

(MODESTY Exits)

LUCRETIA

(Aside)

Now to start my plan to woo Stalwart and get him to marry me.

(To STEVE)

Well Mr. Stalwart, now that we are alone, Tell me all about yourself.

STEVE

There's really not much to tell. I'm from the east.

LUCRETIA

New York City?

STEVE

Nebraska City. Our family owns an apple orchard there.

LUCRETIA

An apple orchard! How exiting! Tell me, what do you do with your apples?

STEVE

Oh, pick an apple, put it in the apple box. Pick an apple, put it in the apple box. Pick---

 

LUCRETIA

And how long do you do this?

STEVE

47,000 times a year!

LUCRETIA

How wonderful!

STEVE

That isn't the best part! After the picking and boxing we take them to market.

 

LUCRETIA

How absolutely fascinating!

STEVE

Yes! We pick up a box, put it in the truck, pick up a box, put it in the truck---

LUCRETIA

How interesting! I had no idea apples were so complicated!

STEVE

I'm studying apple husbandry at the University of Nebraska. I hope to someday take over the family business when my parents are ready to retire.

LUCRETIA

I'll bet you have a lot of fun watching those apple trees grow! You really do lead such an interesting life. Tell me, how many trees are there in your orchard?

 

STEVE

Oh, not too many. About 4278, but who's counting? I even have pet names for some of them. There's Woody and Fred and Sally and..

LUCRETIA

Gosh! That's a lot of trees! Tell me, Steve. Oh dear, I didn't mean to be so forward and use your first name.

STEVE

Please feel free to call me Steve. I want everyone in the Prosper household to be on a first name basis. After all, I intend to be part of the family after Modesty and I are wed.

LUCRETIA

(Aside)

Not if I have anything to do with it...and I will have something to do with it, believe me!

---

SARAH

Hello Morris, it's good to see you. How are you and your lovely daughter getting along. I was baking some chocolate chip cookies and thought you might like some.

MORRIS

That's very kind of you, Sarah. I'm sure that Modesty and I will enjoy them.

SARAH

Think nothing of it. I'm sure that Modesty doesn't have enough time to do any baking now that she is seeing that handsome young man I just happen to notice coming and going from this house at all hours of the day and night.

MORRIS

I'm sure that Modesty will want to thank you for these, personally. Please sit down.

SARAH

Why thank you! She seems to have landed quite a catch with that handsome young man. Tell me, what's his name?

MORRIS

Steve Stalwart.

SARAH

Stalwart, Stalwart. I don't believe I've heard that name before. Is he perhaps from the East?

MORRIS

Yes, Steve is from Nebraska City. His family has lived there for several generations.

 

SARAH

Are you sure that he comes from the right type of family? There is her future welfare to consider. Oh well, I'm sure that you have checked into his background and found him a worthy suitor for Modesty's hand.

MORRIS

Actually, I haven't done any such thing. If Modesty likes him, that's good enough for me.

SARAH

If you say so. Still, I think a little background information about the young man wouldn't hurt, You can't be too careful these days. If it's all the same to you I'll just make some inquiries about young Mr. Stalwart.

MORRIS

I am sure that there is nothing in Steve's past that would cause me to be concerned for Modesty's welfare

 

SARAH

On another subject, what on earth were those strange sounds I hear coming from this house last night? And those lights that flashed on and off? Are you having problems with your gas?

MORRIS

No, not that I am aware of. I didn't hear any strange noise last night. Perhaps you were dreaming.

SARAH

No, I distinctly saw and heard something strange!

MORRIS

That's certainly odd! I slept like a baby last night.

SARAH

I'll tell you what. If it happens again I'll come over and knock on your door till you wake up!

MORRIS

All right.

 

SARAH

Oh! I almost forgot! I actually had two reasons for coming over. To give you the cookies and to invite you and Modesty over for dinner tomorrow evening. You need to get out a little. It will take your mind off of your late wife.

MORRIS

Thank you for your kind invitation, but I'm afraid Elvira's memory still lingers on. It's very kind of you, Sarah. Maybe some other time.

SARAH

I hope you don't wait too long. Well, I must be off. Don't want to be late for my garden club meeting.

MORRIS

I didn't know you were interested in gardening, Sarah?

SARAH

I'm not. It's the only opportunity to keep up with the latest news! Well, bye bye, now.

MORRIS

Good bye, Sarah.