Some Excerpts:

PENNY.  (Entering.)Hello ... Hello? (Looking around for a moment.) Is anybody here? Anyone at all? How odd that the hub of Critter Crossing political life should be vacant. It's not even the lunch hour.

MEDUSA.  (Entering with clipboard. She drops clipboard on the desk and heads for the closet as she removes her jacket.) Could I help you, Miss?

PENNY.  Yes! I'd like to ...

MEDUSA.  Please, give me the chance to hang up my jacket!

PENNY.  Sorry, Miss Dunnit. Miss Dunnit ... I am Miss Fortune.

MEDUSA. I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Well, into each life some rain must fall. (Seats herself at the Mayor's desk and makes herself busy.)

PENNY.  I'm Penelope Fortune. (No response.) Miss Fortune's Orphan School and Old Folks Home?

MEDUSA.  (Not really paying attention.) Really? Well, if they didn't have misfortune they wouldn't be old folks needing a home, or orphans, would they? Now if you'll excuse me, I am a very busy woman.

PENNY.  I would like to see the Mayor, please.

MEDUSA.  (Not really paying attention.) I am Judge Wessell's chief administrative aide and executive assistant. I can help you with any problems you may have.

PENNY.  I would still like to speak to the Mayor.

MEDUSA. And I would like to be six foot tall, and blonde.

PENNY.  Miss Dunnit, I would very much like to see the Mayor. It is my right as an American and as a tax payer and a voter.

MEDUSA.  (Suddenly taking notice.) Miss Penelope Fortune? Well, of course, how could I have been so simple. I am so sorry, Miss ... May I call you Penelope? (Medusa crosses to Penny and slowly begins to navigate her toward the door.)

PENNY.  I realize the Mayor is a very busy man, but it is very important that I see him.

MEDUSA.   And it's very important the Mayor see you. You see Mayor Wessell has been studying your concerns for a long time now. Your views and opinions are important to him, as are the views and opinions of everyone in Critter Crossing. On behalf of the Mayor I'd like to personally thank you for your concern, your civic pride, and the time you've taken out of your busy day.

PENNY.  Why thank you, Miss Dunnit.

MEDUSA.  No! Thank you. (Medusa warmly shakes her hands.) Now, you have a wonderful rest of the day.

PENNY.  I will! Thank you. Thank you! (Penny exits.)

MEDUSA.  No problem at all. You have a wonderful day! (aside) Do you know whhat's the worst part of public service? Serving the public. (Crossing down to the table.) Daisy! (Taking a seat.)

DAISY.  (off stage) Yes, Miss Dunnit.

MEDUSA.  I need to see you immediately Daisy!

DAISY.  (Scurrying in.) Yes, Miss Dunnit. Right away, Miss Dunnit. What may I do for you Miss Dunnit?

MEDUSA.  (Sweetly.) Explain to me how somebody slipped into the inner office without an appointment, or being announced.

DAISY.  Miss Dunnit, this is our only office.

MEDUSA.  Daisy, you are our receptionist! What about your office? You could easily side track people into your office and keep them waiting there.

DAISY.  Ma'am, my office is a broom closet.

MEDUSA.  That's no excuse!

DAISY.  Miss Dunnit, there's barely room enough for me and the mop bucket.

MEDUSA.  If you value your job you will, in the future, make sure that the public does not disturb either myself, or the mayor. Am I clear?

DAISY.  Yes, Ma'am.

MEDUSA.  Am I clear!!!

DAISY.   May I ask if the mayor approves of your view of public service?

MEDUSA.  The mayor approves of whatever I tell the mayor to approve of! Are we clear on that Daisy?

DAISY.   Crystal clear, Ma'am!

MEDUSA.  And from now on I don't have to worry about people barging in unannounced and bothering me?

DAISY.  No Ma'am.

PENNY.  (Entering.) Miss Dunnit!

MEDUSA.  Oh, great!

PENNY.  I don't think we've finished our business.

DAISY.  Miss Fortune is here to see you!

MEDUSA.  Lovely!

DAISY.  And it's not my fault!

MEDUSA.  (To Daisy.) You are such a comfort to me.

DAISY.  I do my best, Ma'am. (To Penny.) You're on your own now, kid. (Daisy exits.)

PENNY.  (Crossing down Left.) Miss Dunnit, I would very much like to see the Mayor.

MEDUSA.  I would like very much like to see pigs fly. (Medusa crosses to the Mayor's desk and makes herself busy with paperwork.

PENNY.  I will not leave here until I see the Mayor.

MEDUSA.  I am afraid the Judge is otherwise engaged and cannot be disturbed.

WALLY.  (Entering.) Good afternoon, ladies, good afternoon. (To Penny.) I'm Mayor Wessell.

PENNY.  We've already met, sir.

WALLY.  I thought I recognized you.How are you today? So nice of you to stop by, and say hello. (To Medusa.) Campaign contribution?

MEDUSA.   Voter.

WALLY.  Yes! Well ... I'm very happy you stopped by to see me. (Takes her arm and begins to take her to the door.) Your views and opinions are important to me, as are the views and opinions of everyone in Critter Crossing. I'd like to personally thank you for your concern, your civic pride, and the time you've taken out of your busy day.

PENNY.   Wait a minute, your honor!

---

WALLY. Your name is Ulysses Simpson Simpson?

SAM.  Most folks call me Sam.

WALLY.  But Ulysses Simpson Simpson? That's an odd name isn't it?

SAM.  I don't think so Mayor Weasel.

WALLY.  That's WES-SELL! (Aside.) Why does everybody always get it wrong! (To Sam.Shaking his hand.) Good to meet you Marshal!

MEDUSA.  Bert, what are we going to do about this?

BERT.  I could plug him.

MEDUSA.  Which one?

BERT.  Your choice.

MEDUSA.  Tempting, but there'd be too many questions.

BERT.  Then what do we do?

MEDUSA.  We do what do what we do best. If we strike fast we can get rid of Miss Fortune before this new Marshal knows what happened.

BERT.  Sounds like a plan to me.

MEDUSA.  When you leave here get your gang together. Get them ready to do some ... damage and mayhem.

BERT.  Sounds like fun.