Some Excerpts:

HY: Evening, Miss Baxter.

BETTY: Evening, Hy. (Betty stops.) Hyram Slugabed, I want a word with you.

HY: Well, since talk is cheap you can have all you want.

BETTY: Have you fed the chickens yet?

HY: I'm gettin' to it.

BIFF: What about the kitchen firewood you were supposed to chop?

HY: I'm gettin' to it.

BETTY: And what about the weeds in the garden I asked you to take care of the morning?

HY: I'm gettin' to it!

BIFF: How about the hay you were supposed to toss down from the loft for the cattle?

HY: (To audience.) All together now. (To Biff and Betty. Audience will join in) I'm gettin' to it!

MOLLY: Betty, Biff, why are you treating poor Hy like a hired hand?

HY: I am a hired hand, ya half baked muffin!

---

BIFF: Molly?

MOLLY: What?!

BIFF: Gosh sakes, Molly, Calm down. It's just me.

MOLLY: I'm sorry, Biff, I'm just a little jumpy.

BIFF: You're more than a little jumpy. You're scared out of your wits.

MOLLY: It's...it's just that it's been a long day. You know....figuring out what I want for lunch....Teaching young minds. Collecting $50,000 in cash.

BIFF: It's more than that, Molly. Tell me. Let me help you.

MOLLY: There's nothing to be done, Biff. This...this is something I must face myself..by myself.

BIFF: Molly, I've...I've never seen you like this before.

MOLLY: Oh, Biff, I want to tell you everything, but...

(Blacky enters, but remains quiet and unseen.)

BIFF: But, what Molly? What are you keeping from me?

MOLLY: I can't tell you, Biff. Please, please, allow me this one secret. You know I'd tell you if I could but....but I cannot.

BIFF: So, that's the way it is.

MOLLY: I'm afraid so, Biff. I'm sorry. Please believe me when I say I am so...so dreadfully sorry.

BIFF: I do. Now, if you'll excuse me, Miss Dewdrop, I have a few things to attend to. (Biff exits without looking back.)

MOLLY: Biff?! Ohhh, Biff!

BLACKY: So, that's the way it is, Molly. See how fast your friends left when they discovered you even had a secret? What do you think they'll do when they find out the nature of your secret?

MOLLY: They never will!

BLACKY: Not if I get my money, Molly. If I don't have my hands on that 50 g in the safe, before I leave, I'll tell 'em the whole sad tale.

MOLLY: You wouldn't!

BLACKY: Matter of fact...I might even add a few extra details to add even a little more color. Think it over, Molly. Just remember...you won't look very good in tar and feathers! (He laughs, and the laughter grows stronger and more evil as he exits.)

MOLLY: What am I to do? I can't give Blacky the money, because the children are depending on me for their new school. The entire town is depending on me. But if I don't give Blacky the money...He'll tell them all my deep, dark, secret. What shall I do? (Begins to sob.) Who can I turn to? (She sits on the couch.) I fear...I fear I am lost! (Her weeping becomes uncontrollable as she collapses on the couch as the lights dim.)

---

BETTY: Then we need a plan. (She begins to pace.)

BIFF: A plan. (He begins to pace.)

MOLLY: A good plan. (She begins to pace.)

(They begin to pace back and forth in silence. Hy enters carrying a burlap bag; sitting down the bag he begins to follow Betty. Hy stops and Betty runs into him.)

HY: What're you up to?

BETTY: Trying to come up with a plan.

HY: Well, you've been trying to come up with a man since I've know'd you Betty.

MOLLY: Not a man,Hy, a plan.

BIFF: A good plan.

HY: Well, a good man is hard to find.

BIFF, BETTY, & MOLLY: A PLAN!

HY: You don't have to yell.

BETTY: We do when we're talking to you.

HY: What's the plan fer?

MOLLY: The nasty man I told you about is here and he wants the money for the school.

HY: then I say we turn down the lights, hide, and when he comes in we jump him! We jump him, knock him in the head, and drop him in the river.

BIFF: That seems a little harsh, Hy.

HY: Ahh, but it'd work like a charm.

BETTY: So, what are we going to do instead?

HY: I say the only way to get rid of a rat is to treat him like a rat. Drown him in the river and hope his carcass don't kill the fish.