Sadie: Anything exciting happen in town last night?

Jake: Nope. Things have been pretty quiet lately. How's business?

Sadie: What business? This place has been dead all month. I hear tell every store in town is having the same problem.

Jake: I reckon nobody in town has been getting any business since the stage line left.

Sadie: Yep. Sure was too bad the stage line had to move to Mud Junction. It seems like everybody in town went with it. It's downright sad.

Jake: Yep. And it's getting downright lonely around here.

Sadie: Sad....And lonely. (Deep sigh.)

Jake: Yep, real sad.....And lonely. (Deep sigh.)

Sadie and Jake: Lonely....And sad. (Both deep sigh.)

(Sally enters from upstairs room, perky and bouncy and bright.)

Sally: Good morning folks! And what a glorious morning it is! The sun is beating down on the town without respite or pity. And the barren landscape that surrounds us shimmers as gently as a blast furnace.

(She comes down stairs and gives Sadie a peck on the cheek. Sadie returns the peck affectionately.)

Jake: Yep. Sure is hot, all right. Sadie: Good night's sleep, Sally?

Sally: A wonderful night's sleep, dear sister. I had the most beautiful dream!

Sadie: Dream? Tell us about it.

Sadie: Well, I dreamed that I went back East to school, met mister wonderful, got married in a big church wedding, had two children, lived in a two bedroom house with 1.5 outhouses in the outskirts of Omaha and even got me a mini wagon!

Sally: My, what a surprise. That's the same dream you've had for the last month.

---

Sadie: Whatever Mr. Devious is, we have bigger problems than him. The stage line has moved out. The townsfolk have moved with it. And all we got left to do to amuse ourselves is to sit around and watch our bank account shrink. I don't see how things could get much worse.

(The sound of drums is heard offstage, getting louder.)

Jake: They just got worse.

(Hazel and Prudence enter banging drums and chanting "Down with rum!" repeatedly in loud voices. They parade around or through the audience and end up on stage.)

Jake: Hold on! Hold on! What on earth are you two caterwalling about now?

Hazel: You know very well what we're here for. It's long past time for the decent citizens of Adobe Wells to be rid of this den of inequity!

Prudence: Right, Sister Hazel!

Hazel: This place makes money on the misery of poor defenseless, downtrodden souls!

Prudence: Right, Sister Hazel!

Hazel: That succumb to the evils of demon rum!

Prudence: Right, Sister Hazel!

Hazel: You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!

Sally: Right, Sister Hazel!

(Sadie and Jake stare at her.)

Sally: Well, she was doing it!

Jake: All right. I've heard enough. Why don't you two go bother somebody else? I hear tell there's a passel of coyotes on the outskirts of town whose souls need saving. Go pester them.