Sadie, Sally and Jake are still arguing about why Dirk Devious wants to purchase
the saloon and why he is so lucky at gambling when they are interrupted...
Script Excerpt:
Sally. Well I think that a man should be given the benefit of
the doubt before he arouses the suspicions of the law. Especially since his only crime seems to be good luck at poker.
Sadie. Well, whatever Mr. Devious is, we have bigger problems than him. The stage line has moved out. The towns folk have
moved with it. And all we got left to do to amuse ourselves is to sit around and watch our bank account shrink. I don't see
how things could get much worse.
(The sound of drums is heard offstage, getting louder.)
Jake. They just got worse.
Enter Hazel Hoochater (blond) and Prudence Purewater (brunette)
banging drums and singing the Temperance Song! They parade around the saloon until the song is finished. Jake accosts them and
demands to know why they are making so much noise so early in the morning even though he knows why. They have been trying to
close down the saloon for years by barging into the place and making a disturbance so the patrons will leave.
Script Excerpt:
Hazel. You know very well what we're here for.
It's long past time for the decent citizens of Adobe Wells to be rid of this den of inequity!
Prudence. Right, sister Hazel!
Hazel. This place makes money on the misery of poor defenseless, downtrodden souls.
Prudence. Right, sister Hazel!
Hazel. That succumb to the evils of demon rum
Prudence. Right, sister Hazel!
Hazel. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
Sally. Right, sister Hazel! (Sadie and Jake stare at her.)Well, she was doing it!"
After a long and heated argument Jake manages to force the ladies to
leave by citing the Code Of The West, Section 56, Article 4, Part A, which is being in a drinking establishment and not drinking.
The ladies have never heard of such a rule, and suspect that Jake is making it up (and we don't know for sure, either). They
decide to leave anyway, just in case.
Script Excerpt:
Sadie. Well, that was about as much fun as a goat roundup
in a rainstorm. That sure was quick thinking on your part, Jake.
Sally. Yes, but I'm glad you didn't have to throw them in jail. They have a right to their opinion,
no matter whether we agree with them or not.
Jake. I suppose you're right, Sally. I just wish they would express it somewhere else...like in Kansas.
Sadie. What have you got against the people in Kansas?
Their return to peace and quiet after the ladies leave
doesn't last long, as Dirk Devious enters. Dirk is the town gambler and is widely suspected of cheating,
but nobody has been able to prove anything so he continues to gamble in the saloon. He invites them all to a
game of poker, but Jake declines, stating that he is broke due to Dirk's "good luck streak". Jake
leaves to finish his rounds, making certain he never turns his back on Devious, because that is the way he learned
to deal with gamblers (it's in the code of the west).
Script Excerpt:
Dirk. And it's time I finished my rounds. I think I'll
start with this round. (He gulps down his drink.) Now, I think I'll have another round. And let's buy a
round for the house! Oh dear! We seem to be alone. How about you ladies? Care for a little libation?
Sadie. No, thank you. We're on duty.
Dirk. I see. Well, would you care to play...a hand of cards? Just to pass the time until the other gamblers show up?
Sally. I'd be happy to play cards with you! Do you know how to play go fish?
Dirk. Oh sure. It's one of my favorites.
Sally. Oh good. It's the only card game I know how to play. Come on Sadie, join us!
Sadie. Why not? It's not like we've got anything better to do! Deal em up!"
So all is still peaceful in the
peaceful little town of Adobe Wells ...but for how long?
